fading with grace

opposites attract

negatives repel

a spark some fuel will inevitably create a flame

but no one ever tells you what happens
when mediocre
gets together with mediocre

when two stars dance
ferociously
trying to burn themselves out
into blue and red magnificence

they'll manage

the burning out part
but who knows how many will
get to witness the
magnificence?

kid
we were both trying so hard
to be great
for the world we forgot
to be good
for each other

thinking that could never be enough
because we both wanted to be
up on that silver screen
both wanted to command the crowd
to point out our names
in history books
to our grandkids

"see... I used to BE somebody"

but we never mapped that
shit into the plan for real
too busy chasing our tails
to think that you gotta have
a kid to have grandkids
you have to make a baby
and in an ideal world that means
you gotta make love
you have to have a lover

kid we were never lovers
you
were one hell of a sparring partner
and the swords we used
sometimes disguised themselves in
pressed mouths
hands in hair
salt to salt to salt to
morning
eyes closed like shades and if the

oh yes oh yes oh yes

was loud enough we could
ignore the rooster too
snuff out its caw
with claws in hip flesh

but we were both somewhere else
mapping those interlocked appendeges
into how to make it big

we shoulda made films because
we're both projectionists
only lasted so long because we
decided
we could be whatever we wanted
if we pretended long enough

i never saw myself in those women
you scripted on to stages
but you saw them in me
and damn if i didn't think
you were my very own
James Dean

but the only time you ever
drove fast was when you were
trying to get that scary bug off
the windshield
your scream like a five year old-
vulnerable, human

extraordinary is like a balance sheet
with no checkmarks on the side
that's titled
boring, annoying, normal, mundane

so i just ripped the page in half
let you be extraordinary
tried to keep up
put on my red dress

and tried to be a star.