epistemology

how do we know what we know?

that's apparently a central question to answer in order to get a little piece of paper that says you deserve to put a comma M.A. after your name on business cards. so how do i know what i know?

i don't think i know anything more than I did at the beginning of this week, but I feel a real sense of clarity. i feel like last semester was just practice. now, i'm actually in grad school. i feel really excited about my advising group, my advisor is this amazingly phenomenal playwright and performer, and i am so excited to get to really get some good critical feedback on ALL of my writing, and really build my skills as an essayist and storyteller.

it's incredible and incredibly sad to be with all of these amazing people who you bond with SOOO intensely and then know that you only get to see them twice a year. I mean, yes, you can visit and stuff, but its just such a different collective experience than a traditional program. i have not slept more than 3 hours in the last 3 nights, because i just wanted to suck in every moment i could with these incredible people. there isn't a single person here that hasn't changed my mind about something. it's like putting human experience on dub speed for a week. and then after today these people are in LA, and Portland, and Baja and New York, and I am in Boston. and part of what makes these people so amazing that they are where they are doing what they're doing, so its like this catch 22.

anyway, i'm glad that i am kind of easing back into reality for the weekend. I mean, I work tomorrow, but with my teens, and then on finishing up some paperwork, so it's a nice little easing time. then i'll have a nice sunday/monday weekend to just kind of be on my own back in my own bed. i so need that decompress time. i'm not really looking forward to going back to reality, i mean, people, yes, but the bills and the logistics and the to do lists, not at all. but i feel pretty confident about really taking stuff head on right now.

me and marissa and minna did a piece i wrote last night and people were actually asking me where they could look it up, like they thought we got it out of a book. it made my night. and i just feel like we channeled this real raw feminine power, and i really do feel ready for anything. i'm exhausted, sore, and maybe a little catatonic, but that really sounds a lot worse than it is. i'm letting myself really feel for the first time in a long time. and it feels pretty good.