longing

some people say that when
you go a long time without having sex
you don't miss it anymore
i think that they may be right

i don't miss sex

i miss hands tangled in mine

i miss being held too long and too close

i miss forgetting that i have to get up in the morning

i miss fitting into that little space
between a shoulder and a collar bone

i miss stealing the blankets

i miss pushing you out of bed

i miss dvd menus playing on repeat
until i cannot listen to that
stupid song
one more time

i miss the feeling in the pit of
my stomach
when i don't know exactly what to expect
when we get to the door

i miss tiny tender kisses on
every star on my shoulders

i kind of miss being a girl
that didn't miss those kinds of things
and even thought they were dumb

i miss pretending that i am
tougher than i am

i miss you knowing that i am
putting on a front

i miss cooking for 2 people

telling someone about my day

knowing that someone else gets
why the perfect line in a scene of Sports Night
makes me hit the couch
like someone just scored a touchdown

i miss reading things that you
think i'll like

i still buy lingerie i know
you'll like

and i know it sounds silly

but i don't miss sex