so i was looking through some old notebooks tonight, reminiscing. mostly laughing at myself for being so whiny and thinking that stupid boys were really amazing (and I'm pretty sure most of the high school notebooks and chapbooks are in boxes in the study, so we haven't even REALLY delved in yet). nonetheless i did find this gem of a poem in my notebook for my junior year of high school english. it has a lot of notes from my teacher about not handing things in on time and not actually doing the assignments and maybe being better organized between plays, stories, and poems, but my grades are pretty good. anyway, so I wrote this April 14, 2000, when I was just shy of 17. i'd like to stress that i barely kissed boys at this age, but from reading this, if I was my daughter, i'd be concerned.
untitled (i never titled things back then)
I'm not the girl you want me
to be
the type to walk down the aisle.
I don't enjoy afternoon tea.
A midnight snack I can handle
as long as its quick and sweet.
Daylight bothers me
I hide in the shade.
The dark is comforting, like a
childhood blankie.
I sleep alone
unintentionally deliberately-
a product of my subconscious.
I climb in and out of windows
with ease.
I wear skirts like jeans
with t-shirts and sneakers.
I don't spend more than 5 minutes
on hair and makeup
and I never have time
for breakfast.
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