juggling sucks

I failed at my new years resolutions. That is, I didn't make a very important one. I realized yesterday that the most important resolution I should have made goes a little something like this: "slow the F down and stop trying to be everything to everyone." I have come to the conclusion that I have a really annoying personality trait that makes me try to do way more than humanly possible and not ask people for help until its too late. So I (a) look like a flake to everyone because nothing gets done as well as it could if I applied a normal amount of time/commitment/energy (b) get migraines (c) justify destructive behavior as a way to de-stress from over-commitment and (d) am kind of a scatterbrained mess and live in a sea of to-do lists. Needless to say I had a long day yesterday.

So I'm starting over. January does not exist. I leave for Vermont on Thursday, and when I come back it will be February already. So I have a list of things to do in the next week so that I won't be playing catch up when I get back from a week of work vacation. In fact, I made a list for each of my identified stress areas (work, home, financial, "extracurriculars," and relationships) so this will be an interesting week. But February 3rd, I will wake up ready to go back to work, in a clean room, with a balanced checkbook, a reasonable to do list at work, resolve to stop acting like I'm still in college, and on track to pull off V-Day.

I need Kelli's book of affirmations.