idle chatter

ok, usually I don't use this for things that aren't poetry or prose, but I've had too much family/friend/self-reflection time to not make some notes.

First observation: my little brother and baby sister are very nearly grown ups... they totally blew me away with their maturity this week. it's weird, i feel like we are beginning to have these grown up sibling relationships. maybe it's because i spent time with both of them and their significant others yesterday, and i got to see how they're actually human beings and not the little girl that followed me and my friends around or the angry 13 year old kid who broke my nose one christmas. now the two boys, that's a different story, but they will both be in high school next year which is scary enough... and I think I noticed pey's voice break the other day. scary, scary stuff.

Second observation: when i say i'm going "home" people need a clarification. i've kind of gotten a repuatation in my crew, particularly my college friends, for having a rotating cast of interests in habits ("any new tattoos?" "are you still vegan?" "who's the new guy?"), but i noticed that when i say home, i mean the place where i pay rent, where the majority of my belongings reside, etc. i've had my own place for 5 years now, but this is the first time it ever felt natural to call it home. to call another city home. but for better or worse, or possibly only 2 years, boston is where i'm building my life right now.

Third observation: ok, not really an observation, but all of my school loans are taken care of for next semester, and it just really hit me that in a year and a half, i am going to have a masters degree, which means i could potentially get an adjunct teaching job. i guess its kind of weird how i'm stuck in between educator and student right now with work and school. Also, since i don't have to make student loan payments until graduation next August, i actually have a real grown up salary. i'm going to be able to afford health insurance and start a savings account. crazy. i may even buy fresh produce on my way home from work a couple times a week... how utopian.

Fourth observation: my parents and grandparents are such amazingly strong people. they don't always know it, but they have built such a strong foundation for our family, conventional or otherwise, and they try to pass it on to us kids, but they have to have done something right for us to turn out ok.

Fifth observation: it's all going to be ok. man, i am lucky as hell. i have amazing friends, wonderful family, and my health. my biggest new years resolution is to truly appreciate that every day.