embarrassing

so I was reading my old livejournal today. WOW, is that embarrassing. Perhaps what's most embarrassing is how little my tone and modesty has changed in 3 years. Anyway, here's what I learned about 20-21 year old Cara.
*She listens to DMX, NERD, Madonna, Matthew Sweet, and Jay-Z... only some things have changed.
*She knows how to CHANGE A TIRE? I don't ever remember having done that.
*She apparently was not very bashful about talking about things of a sexual nature in a completely public place. Also, not very shy about talking about the guy that she liked, even though he clearly was a frequent reader. I think I've lost some of my boldness.
*She was exactly the same amount busy as I am now. We never learn.
*She was a pretty good rapper (or at least better than i gave her credit for)
*She took a lot of online quizzes
*She had some WEIRD dreams. Like super detailed weird dreams about cars with alaskan huskies painted on them and car accidents and
*She meets a LOT of random guys and never does anything about it but write about them (which I guess works for me because I have all kinds of great dialogue moments)
*She was very self-conscious about feeling very self-important
*She had a very sex and the city like mentality
*Her porn name (and I guess also mine then) is Lisa Highland
*She made a lot of lists (um... yeah)

and then there are some great things that I just can't break down into summary:

"grace: (intertwining her fingers to mimick handholding) "it's like practically sex""

"[coffee shop conversation]From which, I might add, Melissa's genius theory on men (or men in my situation in particular) originated. That is, to not take no for an answer. Apparently, if you just decide that you're in a relationship, you are. It sounds nice and all, but I'm not sure how successful this hypothesis will prove to be."

And lastly... my genius summary of the perfect man (February 4th, 2004):

"boredom leads to livejournal entries... because sleep, who needs it? so i've decided to outline the qualities attributed to my ideal man. if i could build a man from scratch, this would be him... let's call him... jonah.
ok, so jonah basically is as follows:
-sarcastic, dry sense of humor, can make me laugh
-a taste for the bizarre and obscure
-not afraid to call me on my bullshit or tell me to shut up if it's warranted
-willing to watch (and enjoy) foreign and arthouse films, but appreciates the necessity of the occasional stupid funny movies
-on a similar note, enjoys going out for sushi, mediterranean food, etc., but also doesn't have a problem just ordering a pizza and vegging out with pizza, beer, and a movie.
-is interested in what i'm working on, but has his own thing going on.
-doesn't mind sleeping over sometimes, but gives me my space when we need it.
-tells me what he REALLY thinks about things im working on, constructively.
-tells me to go away if he needs space.
-enjoys music, movies, and reading, and understands how important these things are to determining compatability.
-doesn't mind spending an hour wandering around the used book store. or at least doesn't mind leaving me there.
-wants to learn new things and wants to teach me new things. (he he... fortune cookie game)
-on that note, has no problem laughing during sex. sex should be fun. shit, my mom reads this...
-physical appearance: ideally is about 5'9, has dark hair and REALLY blue eyes or DARK brown eyes. Is broad shouldered but not too muscley, but not too pudgy, and not too skinny. i don't do well with extremes. I should be able to kiss him standing on my tippy toes.
and likes to cuddle, but doesn't take it personally if i dont ALWAYS want to. if anyone can think of anything im missing, clearly its important so let me know."

Yeah. Special, Special stuff.